Ashy Slashy's "Watch It or Skip It" List:

Now before I begin, let me just state that this is purely my opinion & no hate to those who either hate or enjoyed the films I'll be mentioning. There are some that I thought were good & then I'll get into those that were just downright awful. Needless to say, everyone is welcome to their opinion & we don't all always have to agree.

With that being said, let's get into some movies that have people questioning why they should or should not watch.

X (2022)

X is a slasher film written, directed, produced and edited by Ti West (The House of the Devil, Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever, V/H/S, The ABC's of Death). Starring Mia Goth, Jenna Ortega, Martin Henderson, Brittany Snow, Owen Campbell, Stephen Ure, and Scott Mescudi. The film's plot follows a cast and crew who are planning to make a pornographic film on an elderly couple's rural Texas property but come across an unlikely killer.

This movie had some mixed reviews when it first came out. I, myself, actually liked the film. Now if you're not a fan of gore, I'd suggest skipping this movie. There's a scene in particular that wasn't even gore that grossed me out so bad I actually got nauseated. So simple yet so gross.. *shudders*.

I personally describe the film as Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets Smut Films. If you're offended by sex, blood, gore, I recommend that you don't watch this film. I'm not 100% sure if I'd list this film as "you need to watch at least once", but it's got character.

The Munsters (2022)

The Munsters is a 2022 American horror comedy film produced, written, and directed by Rob Zombie (House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, 31). It stars Sheri Moon Zombie, Jeff Daniel Phillips, Daniel Roebuck, Richard Brake, Jorge Garcia, Sylvester McCoy, Catherine Schell, and Cassandra Peterson. Based on the 1960s family sitcom of the same title, the story is a prequel to the series, serving as an "origin story" for the characters.

I'm either going to get hate or praise for what I'm about to say: I fucking hated it. Now before you get all hulk on me, I am a fan of Rob. When it comes to his movies it is a hit or miss for me. When I heard that he was going to be "remaking/rebooting" the Munsters, I was immediately hesitant, but had very small hope. Knowing that he is a huge fan of the OG's is what gave me the hope. For once I would have liked to see him cast people outside of his typical entourage. Now no hate to Sheri, but let's be honest...

The one thing I truly was disgusted by was how Herman was portrayed. This cocky-arrogant-obnoxious version of the said naive-loveable-dorky OG was just offensive. One of my childhood nicknames legit comes from Herman, so when I say I was truly disappointed doesn't scratch the surface.

If you love the original The Munsters, I don't recommend that you watch Zombie's take. Is it possible to add to "watch it at least once" kind of films? Possibly. If you're willing to waste almost 2 hours of your time, by all means.. 

Grimcutty (2022)

Grimcutty is a "creature feature" written & directed by John Ross (Bite Size Halloween, 1 Minute Horror). A scary internet meme called "Grimcutty" causes panic amongst parent's of teenagers who think their children are cutting themselves as part of an internet challenge.

You read that right. Now we all know within the depths of creepy pasta, we can come across a variety of scary creatures. Slenderman, Jack the Killer, etc. Grimcutty is just... it's not good. I had some hope going into it, but within 10 minutes I knew it was bad. The acting, the "scary" scenes, just...so bad.

I'm a sucker for practical effects (no hate to CGI), but in this film, I don't even think CGI could salvage how bad this Grimcutty looked. I'm not sure if the film is supposed to be taken seriously or if it's a parody of creepy pasta characters.

Dashcam (2022)

Dashcam is a 2021 computer screen horror film directed by Rob Savage and written by Gemma Hurley, Savage, and Jed Shepherd. The film is produced by Jason Blum through his Blumhouse Productions banner, alongside Douglas Cox, and Savage. The film stars Annie Hardy, Amer Chadha-Patel, and Angela Enahoro. The entire film is shot from the POV of either Hardy's hand-held iPhone or the dashcam in her car. The film follows Hardy as she leaves the US amidst the COVID-19 pandemic to visit a friend in London. She livestreams her actions for viewers whose comments on the events are also displayed. After a confrontation that goes down due to her childish "anti-mask" behavior, she comes across a mysterious elderly woman who then proceeds to make her night hell.

When I saw that Blumhouse Productions was attached, I had high hopes. To say I was let down.. First off, the main character is OBNOXIOUS. She's one of those "hope dies in the first 5 minutes" of the film. Despite your political views, she's a MAGA cult member, anti-masks & thinks she's just "so cool" with her childish behavior. She makes the movie unbearable. The film itself is just...not good, but she is what makes it so much worse.

I honestly don't recommend wasting your time with this film. Such a letdown Blumhouse.

Hellraiser (2022)

Hellraiser is a 2022 American supernatural horror film directed by David Bruckner, with a screenplay by Ben Collins and Luke Piotrowski (a screen story they co-wrote with David S. Goyer). A second adaptation of the 1986 novella The Hellbound Heart by Clive Barker, which served as the basis for his 1987 film Hellraiser. Hellraiser (2022) is a reboot of the titular franchise, and the eleventh installment overall. The film stars Odessa A'zion, Jamie Clayton, Brandon Flynn, Goran Višnjić, Drew Starkey, Adam Faison, Aoife Hinds, Selina Lo and Hiam Abbass.

I'm one of the select few that has seen every single Hellraiser. I do not recommend watching past the first two films. The rest of the Hellraiser franchise (not counting the reboot back in 2018) was basically movies that never left shelves that had Pinhead tossed into the storyline to get them produced. So bad. So so bad..

As a fan of the original (and of the novella), I enjoyed this film. It has it's flaws (as does plenty), but I'm a sucker for practical effects and OH BABY did they deliver. Now in my honest opinion, what almost ruined this movie was the main character. I legit could not stand her and was sad that she was the primary focus of the film. No hate to the actress whatsoever, just the character. I get what they were trying to do with the character, but she was just not redeemable in my humble opinion.

I say watch it and develop your own opinion on the film.

Halloween Ends (2022)

Halloween Ends is a 2022 American slasher film that is the sequel to Halloween Kills (2021), the thirteenth installment in the Halloween franchise, and the final film in the trilogy of sequels that started with the 2018 film, which directly follows the 1978 film. Directed by David Gordon Green and co-written by Green, Danny McBride, Paul Brad Logan and Chris Bernier. Starring Jamie Lee Curtis (the OG Scream Queen), Andi Matichak, Rohan Campbell, Will Patton, Kyle Richards, and James Jude Courtney. The film centers around Corey Cunningham, a young man who has been outcasted by Haddonfield due to an accident on Halloween night. He ends up falling in love with Laurie Strode's granddaughter.

NOW, I can see why this movie split the crowd. It got a lot of hate and a lot of praise. I can honestly see what they were trying to do with this film, but I'm not sure why. To be honest, I think most of us were expecting an all out slash fest, gore, etc that the previous 2 films provided. I actually liked the film, if you look at it from a different perspective. What confuses me the most is I know what they were trying to do, but considering the last 15-20 minutes of the movie... I don't understand the point with the Corey character.

It's definitely not for everyone. I do say at least watch it once.

I know there's more movies I've missed in the mix, but leave a comment down below with your own list of films!

-Ashy Slashy

Ashy Slashy's Top 3 Picks You Should Be Watching

I've had p-l-e-n-t-y of time catching up on movies, TV shows, etc etc.. I'm still playing catch-up on things, but in the meantime...

Here are some of my picks of things YOU need to be watching..

1: Dahmer - Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story

BEFORE YOU SAY A WORD; This mini-series does NOT "romantize" the Milwaukee Monster. Evan Peters' performance will make you uneasy, uncomfortable & in some cases just "gross". Which is a good thing! This man deserves all the awards for his portrayal of Dahmer.

2: Stranger Things; Season 4

So your girl was (ahem extremely) behind on some of her shows, but that's neither here or there. In my opinion, this was the best season so far for this Netflix hit. The series continues to follow DND lore & keeps hitting you with some fantastic villains. You won't hear Metallica the same ever again..

3: American Horror Stories (Spin-Off)

The last American Horror Story we got was Season 10, Double Feature. Season 11 is coming this October, so in the meantime, watch the spin-off episodes! They are nice little twists into the AHS universe and occasionally you get to see some known faces. It's quirky, weird and as always: amazing.

If you watch or have already watched, leave comments below giving your opinion!
-Ashy Slashy

Ashy Slashy's Picks for October 2022!

 I'm back! Being an adult in the real world is truly a nightmare that no horror movie will ever live up to. With that being said, here's a list of horror movies coming in October.

Terrifier 2

October 6th

After being resurrected by a sinister entity, Art the Clown returns to Miles County where he must hunt down a teenage girl and her younger brother on Halloween night. As the body count rises, the two siblings must survive the night.

Hellraiser

October 7th

Hellraiser is a reboot of the cult classic 1987 horror film of the same name. In this reboot, a young woman with a drug addiction (Odessa A'zion) finds a cursed puzzle box and accidentally unleashes the sadomasochist Cenobites upon the world. Now before you get your tighty-whities in a bunch, yes, Pinhead is played by a woman; BUT THOU SHALL NOT FORGET! Pinhead is non-binary ;).

GRIMCUTTY

October 10th

In this creature feature, a scary internet meme called "Grimcutty" stirs up panic amongst all the parents in town, convinced it's making their kids harm themselves and others. When a real-life version of Grimcutty starts attacking teen Asha Chaudry, her parents believe that she's cutting herself as part of a challenge. With her phone taken away and no one who believes her, Asha has to figure out how to get through to her parents and stop the Grimcutty once and for all.

Spirit Halloween: The Movie

October 11th

A group of middle schoolers discover a Spirit Halloween store is haunted and must survive the night.\

Halloween Ends

October 14th

Halloween Ends is the final confrontation between serial killer Michael Myers and the ultimate Scream Queen, Jamie Lee Curtis, coming back as Laurie Strode. It will mark the "supposed" conclusion to the trilogy that began with Halloween (2018) and continued with last year's Halloween Kills.

V/H/S/99

October 20th

A thirsty teenager’s home video leads to a series of horrifying revelations.

Slayers

October 21st

A group of superstar influencers are drawn to a reclusive billionaire's mansion only to find themselves trapped in the lair of an evil vampire. The only way out is to be saved by a famous online gamer and an old school vampire hunter.

Matriarch

October 21st

Afflicted with a mysterious disease after surviving an overdose, a woman returns to her childhood home to confront her personal demons but instead discovers a real one.

Prey for the Devil

October 28th

A young nun (Jacqueline Byers) is allowed to enter the Catholic Church's exorcism training program (normally doesn't allow women) after she shows particular promise. When she is thrust into her first exorcism, however, things do not go according to plan.

BRAINHUNTER: NEW BREED 1987

October 31ST

A new breed of Brain Hunter has emerged to hunt humans for their brains in NYC. A FBI agent (Maxine Richards) teams up with a retired detective (James Slant) who has come face to face and battled this creature before.

Which are you excited for?

- Ashy Slashy

Horror Magazine publisher puts his skin up for sale on Kickstarter! [Press Release]

Just in time for Halloween Gore Noir Magazine Publisher Mitch Rafter offers Kickstarter perk allowing you to tattoo your company logo or design on his skin!

 

Kickstarter link:  https://tinyurl.com/gorekickstart

Las Vegas, NV October 15, 2021 - Gore Noir Magazine, celebrating it’s 10 years in independent horror print, has launched it’s 5th and most exciting Kickstarter campaign. Keeping in line with the subject matter of the issue featuring Hellraiser, Mitch Rafter will be allowing those who pick the $2,000 perk, to tattoo their logo or design on his skin.  That’s right!  You will be forever etched in ink on his skin!  This issue of Gore Noir is a once sold out re-issue of their Hellraiser homage, featuring exclusive interviews with Pinhead himself Doug Bradley, as well as, Barbie Wilde, Simon Bamford, and Nicholas Vince who also played cenobites in the 1988 Hellraiser II film. The campaign will be going the full 30 days, ending on November 14th, 2021.  The campaign aims to raise a minimum of $3,000 for rising print costs of the 64 page full color publication, but the publisher targets blowing that number out of the water.

This magazine is not just an exact reprinting of the sold out issue, it will feature a new cover artwork by Stephen Strange.  The artwork itself is also an homage to Todd McFarlane’s iconic and often reproduced Spiderman #1 cover.  With all the news of Spiderman No Way Home and the brand new Hellraiser series that is going into production this mash up cover couldn’t come at a better time!  Those who will step up to support Mitch’s independent horror print magazine can choose from perks including:  Exclusive stickers, New shirt designs, posters, Hellraiser magazine reissue in both regular and 3D cover versions, trading cards, ad space, and of course your logo or design on Mitch’s skin.

Mitch is quoted as saying, “I’ve loved horror my entire life, including the Hellraiser, I actually have the puzzle box tattooed on my elbow.  It just made sense to start my own horror magazine, and I’ve been pouring my heart and soul into it for 10 years straight.  Why wouldn’t I put my skin up for grabs if it means I’m able to continue doing my magazine for possibly another 10 years?”  Right now there’s only 3 tattoo spots available at $2,000 a piece but if it means not having to worry about money for the next issues he says:  “I’ll keep going beyond 3 spots..  I’ll even give up all the skin on my legs!”  Make sure you check out Gore Noir Magazine’s Kickstarter, become a backer, and get in line to tattoo your logo or design on Mitch.

 

Contact:  info@gorenoir.com or gorenoirmag@gmail.com

Instagram:  @gorenoirmag

Facebook:  facebook.com/gorenoir

Website:  gorenoir.com

Kickstarter:  https://tinyurl.com/gorekickstart

It's Almost Halloween! Misfits "Halloween" Cover Featuring Scarah Damsel of the Damned

Who else is excited for Halloweeeeeen!?  We know we are!  Gore Noir Magazine will be celebrating Halloween at 4th Tap Brewery for Horror Web's Halloween Party!  Click here for the event page!
Scarah's Cover of the Misfits song "Halloween" is a perfect way to celebrate the holiday coming up so damn soon!  What are you going to be for Halloween?  Did you go out last weekend?  Where's my candy?  Got any beer of booze?  What about boos?

Unable to make it to the Halloween party?  You can also come to our Comic Book Carnage (or come to both!) event taking place at Texas Mist on November 9th!  Scarah will be our hostess with the mostess!!  Come on out!   Click here for event page! 

Video info from YouTube:  "Slow, spooky, cover of the original tune Halloween by the Misfits (Glenn Danzig, 1981). Performed by Scarah Damsel of the Doomed & Duke Hellington. Gorey Corey- sound engineer. Video starring Scarah D.O.T.D. and Roman Black of Aaerial. Video shot, edited, and produced by Blue Osiris."

Michaels 14 inch Ceramic Halloween Tree Unboxing/Review (Video)

Boo Batter Cold Stone Cremery Jet Black Halloween Ice Cream

So I am one of those assholes that will try anything that these companies put out that is black colored.  Yes I'm that dude..  Black Whopper?  Sure I'll throw that down my gullet..  Gimme 2 and I'll wash it down with your black cherry icee.  DONE!  So when Cold Stone Cremery came out with their self described "BOOLICIOUS" Boo Batter ice cream I had to try it.

My friend got the last of their Halloween Oreos..  The bitch..  But really the orange filling doesn't taste anything different than the regular ones so the only difference was aesthetics.  I got mine in one of their orange bowl cone thingies..  I normally don't go to Cold Stone so I was dumb and got the "I Love it!" which ended up being waaaaay too much ice cream for me.  Now..  On to the taste!

This was fresh off the press not one bite taken yet..

This was like spooning pure sugar into my mouth hole mixed with random bites of Kit Kat, M&M and Oreo..  I normally like all of those ingredients but when you just huck them into a pile of sugary cement colored ice cream it doesn't make for a good experience.  The color above is pretty spot on it's a little more bluish grey but yeah..  I'll post pictures so you can see. 

My friend loved this ice cream..  But she also was on a huge sugar high after..  Let's just say I had to hear "baby shark" way too much.  Was this worth the money and experience?  Sure!  I'll try anything once!  Will I try it again?  NOPE!  It's just waaaaaay too sugary for me.  I'd rather go with like a Mint chocolate chip or something similar.  Oh well!!  Apparently it's just their cake batter ice cream dyed black but whatever!  Worth a try!

Now we are getting artsy with the Boo Batter soup..

Got bored so started messing with the now soft shell..

Maybe we can find some dinosaurs stuck in this oil pit?

Need a good soundtrack for your Halloween? Read on about Obscuri..

© 2015 Obscuri Photography All rights reserved.

It's a Wednesday night and I'm in a town not too far from San Antonio.  It's a good hour jaunt from Austin (which I've called home over the last 3 years) but I made the trip to hang out with my good friend and official Gore Noir staff photographer, Obscuri.  Obscuri has been creating amazing  ambient horror music lately and I couldn't wait to hear some of the tracks.  We are sitting in his new "Doom Room" surrounded by his medical collection, listening to some of the music that he's been working on.  Each track he starts up has it's own feel and aesthetic to it.  Each brings it's own imagery to mind and as we listen I'm talking to Obscuri, explaining the visuals that are popping into my mind as the music plays.  It also helps to set the tone as the real human skulls are staring back at us in the Doom Room and the wet specimens lay in their jars.  All of this helped fuel the creativity that Obscuri's music was now invoking.

Obscuri is talking about some of the haunts and bands that he has already started working for and creating his ambient tracks for.  The soundscapes he creates definitely lend themselves to an overall feeling that would work well in a haunted house.  Once we've crawled our way through his project tracks we decided to mess around and create a new track on the spot.  It was interesting being able to watch the creation process and give input to help mold the soundscape.  The piece ended up having a very 70's satanic slasher's house feel to it.  I'll link you to it and more of his music below (the name of the track is "Gates to Hell".  If you have yet to hear any of Obscuri's work definitely check it out and hire him for your movies, your haunt, your batmitzva or whatever you need dark ominous music for.  Enjoy!  (Click here to go to the full soundtrack site for Obscuri)

Who's watching Hemlock Grove The Final Chapter (Season 3) on Netflix with me? (10/23)

It's that time of year again!  Halloween you say?  Well yea..  That too..  But no!  I'm talking about Hemlock Grove!  Have you seen season 1 and 2 yet?  No?  Well you have some catching up to do..  Season 3 drops 10/23!  All episodes will be available all at once..  Which means you can do like I do and binge watch the hell out of it!  Or you can slowly ration yourself an episode every so often..  But who does that?  BINGE!!  That's what Netflix is for right?  Now you can Netflix and Chill with Hemlock Grove on your device..  And it's going to be a marathon..  No what I mean?  Wink wink..  Nudge nudge..

Last season ended off on what has to be one of the strangest season finale/cliffhangers that I've ever seen on a series..  I was literally like..  WTF?!?  That just happened?!?  For those of you that have seen season 2 you know what I mean..  My brain melted out of my ears..  Eyeballs packed up and took a vacation..  They said..  "NAWP!  I'm out..  What the hell was that?!?"  So I have no idea how they are going to continue on from there..  Well they are definitely saying that season 3 is the LAST SEASON..  THE FINAL CHAPTER.   So we will be learning a lot about the characters..  ALL WILL BE REVEALED!  Here's to some skin being revealed..  Oh and blood and guts too..  I think we are going to see lots of that..  High grade wood chippers maybe?

Anyway..  I'm excited..  Throw your comments in the section below and let me know what you think of the show and let me know where you are at with the new season when you start watching.  Here's to some Hemlock Grove on Netflix and Chill!!  CLIP BELOW FOR ALL YOU FREAKS!!

https://youtu.be/riHMex1IPqw

Full Moon Entertainment Event Gary Busey Tommy Chong

As Halloween gets closer in Hollywood all the horror gets ramped up to the extreme.  It's the perfect time of year for Gore Noir magazine to wiggle it's way into the scene and let people know what we are about.  We arrived at the venue which was Meltdown Comics on Sunset (we walked there that's how close to our house it is) and we were greeted by one of Full Moon's employees who handed us our press passes and we slid in and as we were early we got to snap some shots of the scenery.

Everyone was pretty much there to see Gary Busey, Charles Band, and Tommy Chong so we stood around for a bit.. handed out some business cards and stickers and finally Tommy came in with his wife along with him.  Seemed like a very nice guy he signed a few things and posed for pictures like a champ.  Next person to come in was Gary Busey..  I've always thought this guy was a nut..  AND IT'S NOW CONFIRMED..  My girlfriend and fellow Gore Noir coworker got a GingerDead Man DVD for him to sign (We have some pictures of him signing the dolls that will go in the mag) and apparently he couldn't hear us as we handed him a free mag.. he just looked at it blankly..  and picked up his sharpie as if to sign it..  And when I tried to get loud and tell him ITS FREE.. He said "JUST WAIT!"..  NUTSO!

We also met Corpsey from Girls and Corpses magazine (awesome mag by the way i've always had much respect for these guys they put out some innovative cool shit) and we exchanged magazines and talked about banner exchanges and all that fun stuff.

All in all it was a good time and we came home with some Full Moon DVDs to watch and some stories to tell..  and we got our hollywood horror feet wet.

The Vamp Girls

Wouldn't expect any less from a couple horror gals from Las Vegas.  Vampires love feeding on the washed up booze ridden cretins that get lost in the desert.  Who would miss some guy who just dumped his paycheck into a slot machine?  I'm sure it's like snacking on a rum cake.. Get a bit drunk and high off of that hemoglobin.

The set that Gore Noir will be featuring has the Vamp Girls sinking their teeth into some delicious veins that's for sure.  I'm not even a vampire and I wouldn't mind sinking my teeth in!

Our Kickstarter page! Please spread the word!

 We were just recently approved for our Kickstarter and it's an awesome new way for project that need funding to receive the money they need without having to bend over for the banks.  People receive rewards for their money they give for the projects and we have some pretty awesome rewards depending on how much money you can give.  Please check out and repost the following link!

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1343794926/gore-noir-magazine-horror-without-the-hollywood